It has been nearly a year and a half since I staffed in the prostitution ministry in the Philippines. I learned a lot of cross cultural differences and what I felt like God wanted me to understand was that the very cultural stronghold of unworthiness that is prevalent in that country was to deal with my own issues of feeling unworthy. Have you ever been faced with people that you cannot stand just because you realize how their character is a reflection of yourself? You realize you are more alike than you think… Perhaps God is using them as a reflection so that we can refine our characters to be Christ-like and not be ruled by our justification. We are all saved only by His grace. It’s time to reflect His image and not clash with those mirroring our fallen nature.
At the end of last year God had given me a dream addressing that weakness of unworthiness yet I didn’t know how to access the truth within myself with a solid revelation that I was not defined by how circumstances of life, how people treated me, or what I think about myself. We are all an heir to the King’s inheritance. Yet many of us still live in a state of lack and a poverty mentality when God desires so much more for us… More than we could ever imagine.
I have been getting in touch with my girly side and watching Princess Diaries. God was calling out the princess in me and that’s why we play princess and princes when we were young. We have his royal DNA but living in a fallen world, we tend to forget that we are heirs of the King and we are to rule and reign with Him.
In the movie, the bodyguard coaches his awkward teenage Princess-in-the-making when she is feeling insecure about her new-found, royal position that “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
As I’m writing, I am reminded of a children’s story called “The Paper Bag Princess” by Robert Munsch. If I give you the plot, you can imagine the idea I’m getting across.
“Princess Elizabeth plans on marrying Prince Ronald, who is practically perfect. However, a dragon arrives who destroys her kingdom, kidnaps Ronald, and burns all her clothes so that she has no choice but to wear a paper bag. Elizabeth follows the dragon and Ronald, and seeking to rescue her fiancé, challenges the dragon to burn forests with fire and to fly around the world. The dragon completes the tasks but after flying around the world a second time becomes tired and falls asleep. Elizabeth rescues Ronald, who is ungrateful and tells her to return when she looks more like a princess. Elizabeth calls Ronald out for his ungratefulness and goes dancing off into the sunset.”
The children’s book shows how the Princess knew her self worth from the beginning and in the process of rescuing the Prince (yes men do need rescuing sometimes), she gets her beautiful princess dress scorched by the dragon and is forced to wear a paper bag. The Prince fails to acknowledge the effort that the Princess put into rescuing him, as a result she learns a valuable lesson that she is not defined by how she is received by the Prince but goes off on her own and lives happily ever after. Inwardly, she knew her identity as a Princess and that her royal position wouldn’t be shaken by outward circumstances or how she appears on the outside. She was fully convinced of who she was and had no need for a Prince to complete her.
In relation to that story, how many people have listened to the lies of the enemy of what people say about them and let that dictate their future? God deems you worthy regardless of how you appear or what is happening to you because he knows your heart. We don’t need people to affirm our royal position as Christ’s beloved.
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”
1 Peter 2:9
Hang on to your swivel chairs because I’m about to bust out some radical testimonies of how God has captivated me with His love in the past couple weeks.
I saw a conference called Awakening to LOVE Revival on facebook that was happening which involved people from Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, other churches and organizations from the states, as well as locally. I loved the idea of the US and Canada joining forces to ignite the love of Christ in Vancouver city. After I completed my final exam I came in during the worship session. The speaker felt the Lord telling him to ask me my name and as I shared it, he was enthusiastically saying how the whole conference was about fulfilling our God-given destiny. At that moment, I was desperate for the touch of God and he spoke Jeremiah 29:11 over me. He then said that that there have been disappointments from people and situations but that I am worthy and valuable. I am not alone but that I am among family. Some women from the team came around me and just affirmed that this is the time of knowing my identity and His love in a deeper way. It is a pivotal time for me when I will walk into my true identity and be released into my true destiny. He has called me for such a time as this… Immediately my hardened heart began to soften as I was afraid of disappointment and uncertainty of what I was walking into.
“Therefore I am now going to allure her;I will lead her into the wildernessand speak tenderly to her.There I will give her back her vineyards,and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will respond as in the days of her youth,as in the day she came up out of Egypt.” Hosea 2:14-15
The next day was when I signed up for a inner healing session which was done by two prayer warriors. I was being set free from unforgiveness, generational ties, learned behavior and strongholds of the enemy’s lies. They had a lot of discernment of what was going on with me Spiritually. I didn’t need to even explain to them in detail and the Lord imparted wisdom through them. Going in I felt burdened and worn out but afterwards I felt a refreshment and a lightness in my Spirit. The session was better than any therapy session… The Holy Spirit is the best counselor there is.
Later on as we were all being prophesied over, I don’t want to share more than what God has in store for this season, but it confirmed the gifts God has instilled within me that He still wants to use. Ever since I was 10 years old I’ve always been prophesied about going to the nations… that is a given. With the rest, all I will say is that every word prophesied over me was to do with my dreams, past, present, and future and they were all right on the money. I never felt so affirmed and reached out to in all the time I’ve been in Vancouver just in the 3 days of being at this conference. For the first time, I felt like I was with like-minded people of my generation wanting to see the Kingdom of Heaven come down on the city of Vancouver.
The very last day of the conference, I was totally immersed in the love of God. Someone said to me that God delights in my dancing and that I am a Spiritual dancer. I had never felt free enough to dance in public to the Lord but since then I started to and it was awesome to express myself through dance to my King. If King David danced shamelessly to God, how much freer should we be in our worship to Him.
The last day of the conference, I was trying to convince myself that I didn’t need to get called out from the crowd again. As the pastor was pointing out people to speak a word of knowledge to, I thought to myself “Nope. I’m good… I’m done.” Since I had been delivered from the oppression the enemy had on me I figured I’ll be okay. But God was about to give me a double portion. At that very second, the pastor (who is only 23 years of age with a crazy awesome testimony) called me up and I was still in denial and said, “Me?” pointing at myself in disbelief and I even turned around to see who he was looking at. “Yes, YOU!” So I went up and he started reading my diary out loud saying how it has been so hard for me and listed things that the enemy attacked me with emotionally, relationally, physically, financially and Spiritually. And that God would provide for me. I got hit hard by the Holy Spirit, I started crying out like I have never done before and vibrations in my hands came just how it was when I was first filled by the Spirit on my DTS in New Zealand. He broke off the curse of rejection, abandonment, and inferiority over me. I came undone and was overwhelmed and 3 others came around to love on me with words from the Father’s heart. God has my back and it was evident that He was fighting on my behalf.
I always had a love/hate relationship with my name because it would always be prophesied to me that “God has a great destiny and a purpose for you and that there is no mistake that you were named Destiny” they would even joke and say no pressure on having that name. But this time I truly feel solidified in having that name for a purpose. There is no pressure to walk into my God given destiny if I am just being who I truly was meant to be.
They gave me this verse: “The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
That verse just happened to be on the cover of my journal.
Here is the video of people’s testimonies at the Awakening to LOVE Revival Conference. Click here to watch. Mine is 11 minutes into it.
I feel like everyone knew my personal business already so I focused on the main thing that God wanted me to know… That I was His precious princess and worthy of His unfailing love. Someone confirmed that I would be sent out on missions again and that it would be even better than the last. That it was just boot camp for me.
Throughout the conference, people kept saying how God was healing my heart and that I would bring healing to brokenhearted and that God would protect my heart as I reached out to help others. This was an answer to a personal prayer of mine. Without mentioning what I did in missions, there was prophesy of me ministering to prostitutes and addicts. Dreams I’ve had are going to be fulfilled quickly and that I will experience accelerated blessings like a big wave.
A friend from the conference invited some of us out to another revival conference from her old church coming from Seattle. This was also Americans coming over to stir up revival in Canada. Something is happening if all of a sudden all these Americans-collaborating-with-Canadians conferences are coming over. God is up to something. There were so many themes that were similar like God had divinely connected them with the same vision.
As I went, I was feeling a sense of expectation after receiving all of God’s promises through the mouths of people. I was anticipating breakthrough in provision. Without knowing my desires, the preacher confirmed that I would have what ever I needed before the end of the year. I was thinking if my will was in alignment to God’s will on how he wanted to provide for me. I let go of control in regards to the situation and just waited on Him. A few days later, I received a call from the administration office from my college saying that they had a spot for me in the 2 year Social Service Work program that is starting in September. I was in shock since I had already bought textbooks for my original courses and school was starting in a week. The day before I wrote on my facebook status: “We think that we know what we want but God knows exactly what we need.” It didn’t even cross my mind that I would be able to get in since even the head of the program said they do not go down that far on the wait list and I was 4th in line. They only took in 35 students and originally I was to be admitted in the program by Fall of 2015. Praise God that He has the final say and that I didn’t have to wait that long! I got my answer on how God wanted me to invest my time and energy in getting educated in what I felt called to do in the future to serve Him better. I was dreading the thought of working just to survive in the meantime.
“Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
To be honest, I probably would not be content if I were to go back to just working in a random job and I’d still have a hard time grounding myself back in Vancouver if I didn’t get in the program while the desire to fulfill my calling was still fresh. So grateful that we have a connection to Daddy in Heaven who has an abundance of rich inheritance that wants to give to his children.
“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19